Hawaii is so ripe that I figured Day One had ended at sunset, boy was I wrong. Day One ended at the Four Seasons Buffet, which is the best, beachfront buffet that big money can buy. It is expensive, but it’s so abundant and ridiculous and really delicious on so many levels that all you can do is fill your plate. The Four Seasons sources more than seventy-five percent of their food locally, so every thing’s fresh as it could be. This was my first appetizer plate, and the sushi is beyond anything I have ever eaten in my life. Crab claws, tuna, california rolls, greens for show, a misguided dab of humus, I mean really. Humus?

The Band was rockin’, and jokin’ as we moved on to lobster tails, rib eyes, fried rice, mac n cheese, garlic mashed potatoes, and more tuna. It should be mentioned that one of us, had a ziplock bag in her purse and managed to palm some mahi-mahi and a lobster tail for the man down, Kynalu, who was not at the buffet with us. It was very exciting and my, I mean, someone’s endorphins we’re on fire. The thing about the Four Seasons is service, so they’re two to one – waiters to customers. After risking dignity and a night in Four Seasons Jail, Kynalu never ate the complicit lobster tail.

We set a schedule, Big Kahuna couldn’t be held back, initially leading in refills. Not to be outdone Extra Fancy and Fancy went hard and continued savouries ,whilst Kahuna moved steadily into dessert with two souflettes, smugly pronouncing, “One of each flavor.” Dessert was only allowed after 9PM. We had a hard time stringing this into the three hour, all you can eat-fest that we wanted after we’d forked over that much cash, each consuming like Octomom in the third trimester. We each refilled a few times, this was Fancy’s first run.

This is what happens…

Suffice to say we laid down on the beach beds to digest and stargaze, whilst groaning and heaving body parts into comfort. We waddled home to bed. Big Day Two was thundering in from the west and we needed rest.