This month marks two years since departing from my career. I’m happy to report that the struggle is over and I have truly let go of the past. I kept the amazing friends I made, but ditched the shitty feelings that came with “the end”, forgave people I thought betrayed me, and then forgave myself for behavior that nowadays, seems unfathomable. Change is inevitable, but I was so far gone that I had created circumstance which demanded change and I resisted the change. Go figure. Like the Borg said “Resistance is futile.”

Once I figured out that change is the gig, and flexibility is the goal, I recently started changing the things that were getting me stuck, and making me rigid. I let go of cigarettes and weed, and I 86ed booze for good measure. After smoking weed and cigarettes daily for over 20 years, I am refreshingly enthusiastic about life. I didn’t even know what a disservice I was doing to myself. I dare say, I feel great and I’m happy.

My dad’s been Buddhist for almost twenty years now. In our weekly skype, when I told him about my letting go of cigarettes and weed, he smiled, I told him I was meditating regularly and he nodded approvingly, I told him my palate had changed and I now eat salads and he started to cry. You see, I have been a strict carnivore for all my life, and my pops had tried for years, sprucing up brussel sprouts, and advertising the deliciousness of veggies, but his claims fell on deaf ears. Without the smoke, my taste buds have recovered and my palate is changing.

Prior to this revolution I am currently engaging, I had imagined myself as Richard Nixon on “The Simpsons”, a talking head in a jar, completely disassociated from my body. Now that I recognize this body as a vehicle for my spirit, I respect it and have stopped polluting it. For my friends, you might be saying “Who the fuck is this pod person who’s taken over Robin.” I promise it’s me, just a more reflective, less reactionary version.

Last week a friend called and said, “Hey Beans, do you have a minute? Listen, my friend went out on a date and the dude ordered a Vanilla Creamsicle followed by a Long Island Ice Tea. What do you think?” He awaited my string of insults, but without thinking, I replied, “Well we can’t really judge him by his drink order, can we?” My friend sputtered, “Oh shit Beansie, I forgot you’re a buddhist now.” I laughed and hung up, kind of amazed at my own reaction. Not to say I’ve got it licked, when I close my eyes to meditate it’s often a warzone, but I found out the fighters are all me, and have been for a long time. I used to say that I laid down my sword two years ago, but in reality I had just switched enemies and turned the sword on myself. I am happy to report that the war is over.

Happy Independence Days to all!

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