It’s a well known fact that me and vegetables are sworn enemies. I have been over them since I got here, but as I get older, and supposedly wiser, I have tried to integrate these disgusting leafy, strangely textured, smelly greens into my diet.

Now that I have made it to FORTY, I am not ready to call this the halfway point. My grandma lived to NINETY-SIX, so I’m gonna go for it, which means I’m gonna have to eat some frickin’ greens. However, like all things I am resistant to, I will bend the greens to my will– by turning them into savory, salty, crunchy, chips that rival the revered potato chip.

Here’s what you need (excellent INXS song, in fact cook to that song):

Kale Chip Ingredients

Preheat your oven to 300 degrees.

Wash the kale and rip it up into chip size bites and place on cookie sheet or pyrex, ignore the stalk because there ain’t no way to turn a tree trunk into a potato chip.

Squeeze half a lemon or a lime over the kale, drizzle with olive oil, toss the kale and then arrange it in a single layer.

Sprinkle with salt (duh), granulated garlic powder (or if you prefer just use garlic salt), and then add cayenne pepper. I like my chip spicy, but you should try a light dusting before going big with the cayenne, it packs a wallop.

Place your kale chips in the oven for 10 minutes. Then pull out the chips and rotate ’em so that they are getting crispified all over, then rearrange your single layer and throw ’em back in the oven for another 5-10 minutes. Keep checking ’em, because if they burn the health factor is nullified.

Finished product:

Kale Chips Whaaaaaaat?!

Kale chips have replaced potato chips around here. Now when I make a sandwich I add a handful of these to the plate, or when I watch three episodes of “The Office” in a row, I just bring the bowl. Basically I can now eat a bushel of kale in 20 minutes.